And speaking of hard times, eh, how about the uh, hard ... time ... DJ gave the Beers, right guys?! Okay, okay, I'm an idiot, we all know this. But did any of you really think DJ was gonna go out there and throw seven innings of two run ball? Yeah, sure, maybe you thought he'd hit every single person in their lineup (plus I think he pegged a guy in the on-deck circle plus at least one of the Beers' girlfriends) but STILL. And, if you're gonna plunk any team in the league, there's no team that will take it better than the Oakland Beers. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
***
Why don't we take a quick minute to vote? I'm all about democracy and the people's voice being heard, even though I use this blog as mainly a vehicle to basically shout my own opinions about everything at you guys. It's important to me what YOU think. Now . . .
2017 SEASON SICKEST MOMENT SO FAR
All right, so, the game itself started great. Well I got gunned out at the plate on a double play in the first and then DJ beaned Chad with his first pitch BUT BESIDE THAT it started out great. After waiting for what seemed like all morning and probably past noon for our esteemed, sandwich-toting manager to roll in, we got his motivational speech. Was it better than anything Pence ever concocted? Well, no, not at all but it got the lineup pumped. Miles fearlessly asked us all to become
Mmmm. Hackers. Sure, I thought. Hack away, I thought. But Miles had tapped into something primal and raw and urgent in this lineup and didn't shy away from trusting his plums. And it's like I say after every pitch, trust your plums.
With that vague and frankly usually outlandish advice, we hacked. Oh, we hacked, all right. It was a hit parade and a sound game almost all around (Scott might still be caught between third and home as I'm typing this) and I'm proud of you guys. DJ. Gantz. The new Flesh Bat. Calm was restored in the land of 29erdom. But before we get to why you're all really here, let's take a moment to appreciate our new weekly feature, where you'll find a more on-the-field, players' perspective. I present to you:
This has been this week's Andy's Corner.
First, we start with a special shout-out for our Allstate® "ur in good hands"® Great Hands of the Game awarded to Alex Williamson for his bizarrely effective swing on a pitch that nearly ran inside and hit his back foot. I've never seen anything like it and I don't know where he learned it. It was I guess sort of almost comparable to like, a kid pretending to wield a lightsaber while he's, you know, making the whooshing sounds with his own mouth but, I dunno, an adult version of that. On a baseball field. It went for an impressively clean single and Al jogged to first base with the beautiful "I meant to do that" composure we've all come to love him for. With Al, you are in good hands™.
This brings us to the next weekly award, and I'm not gonna lie, it was a tough one. It's kept me up nights, the agonizing. But in the end, the choice made itself: The Legend® by Bob Marley and the Wailers 30th Anniversary Edition [Tri-Color 2 LP] (4 1/2 stars on Amazon.com) PLAY OF THE GAME was Bobby's leaping snag of a smoked liner of the bat of a Beer.
Friends, it's always important after an error to, let's see, how do I want to put this in my own words, okay got it, emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. I've always tried to teach you guys my original and totally personal philosophy that none but ourselves can free our minds. So after Bobby made a low throw for an error after a tough hop when he had plenty of time, I understood what he was going through. You never want to make your pitcher throw more pitches than they have to, especially a guy making his first start. So when the next batter tried to scream one over the Tan One's reach . . . redemption. Sweet, sweet redemption.
***Runners Up included Al's sick ranging catch in right and then throw on the run to second base where Rickey "stretched" to double up the runner and complete the double play. And of course Rickey's dive on the low liner up the middle that actually required real stretching, not just what your dad calls a stretching.***
I won't waste your time with any build up here in this next section. The 1996 Jeep Classic "Yeah, it's a bumpy ride and gets terrible gas mileage but still gets the job done" DRIVE OF THE GAME: Mine this time. I never thought I'd type it. I don't think I ever had a DotG. Everyone else kinda covers that one and I sort of tally up my singles and hope for a semi-respectable batting average at the end of the year. My first triple in a real, non-All-Star game. And that it cleared the loaded bases? AND that I almost lapped Scott, meeting him eye-to-eye and seeing, staring back at me, the confused and lost visage of a headlit deer? Well, yeah. I'll remember this one for a long time. I still haven't taken off my jock, despite the rash and dark putrid cheese that's begun to form around its fetid strap's edges. Hey, that's baseball, right, guys?!
I have to give a quick shout to Pat, too, for his own stand-up triple. The two of us have been pretty consistent in the past and both had been off to slow starts. Here's to hoping we've both turned a corner, and that when that corner is turned, Scott's not there to friggin' block you from continuing.
:)
And here we are. The 70th track on the US Billboard Hot 100 in June, 2007, and the second single from UGK's fifth studio album Underground Kingz's International Players Anthem (I Choose You) PLAYER OF THE GAME: DJ Honeycutt. Man, you got to love this guy's effort. I was tempted to blurt it out up top but I wanted to make sure everyone stayed for the whole jam. I showed up on Saturday at Lowell at (kid you not) 11.01AM and DJ was already there, cutting it up with Mackey Beers. His baseball bag (AND beers!) were already set nicely in the dugout. He clearly hadn't just arrived. You're not able to notice this kind of effort unless you show up on time, but dude was actually early. I'm often trivially late in my day-to-day life so I'm no saint of punctuality normally, but this gets my attention. Do you need/want my attention? Well, no, but this gets it, anyway.
When we finally got official confirmation that DJ was getting the start, there was a bit of an excitement running through the dugout, I'm telling you. I don't need to, you were there, but I'm telling you. Then we were told to HACK. It was a good start. And it ended with him getting one of these:
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| Pray to the game ball gods and you, too, could end up with one of these collecting dust in a random corner next to a dirty sock and a warm beer can with a cigarette butt perched on it |
Sure, he hit everyone including a couple fans and a can lady who was just trying to live but still. Seven solid innings, a focused mound presence that you'd think was coming from a veteran, and the hits, well, the hits must be acknowledged. I again don't have the book somehow, but I think he went something like 4-6 and the two outs he hit were rockets, too. Keep it up, Deej, and stay hot.
***
This is what your equipment manager was doing while "coaching" third base. Next time he busts balls, remind him of this picture.
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| That said, if you really do know what the hell you're doing out there, party on. This is for experienced coaches only. |
***
Ah, /cracks knuckles, time to wrap this thing u—wait, what? Another new weekly feature you say? Oh, right, you don't want to end up here, buddy. The end of the baseball road, the weekly underworld spun with a fine gossamer of bitter swirling winds made up of, uh, game-used jocks and old sunflower shells. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here, etc. It's the . . .
. . .and our special guest this week is Scott. The funky baserunning (ignoring Miles' windmill sending him home) wasn't enough. Oh, no. You had to go and self-props, didn't you? "You guys see those blocked balls?" We did, Scott, we did. We had to. And they were nice. But you went and self-propped, Scott.
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| Scott, after the first blocked ball, on his way to the BoB |
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| Scott, after the second round of self-props, making damn sure he was down here . . . |
Of course, I kid. I wouldn't roast you if I didn't like you. But do try to avoid the dungeon down here. It's cold, and moist.
***
All right, this weekend we got Cleaners. Try to get a good BP in on Wednesday if you can, working on that bat speed. Supposedly they grew another ringer out of whatever they got over there in the Richmond and you can bet he'll face us. Will Miles want us patient or hacking? We'll have to wait to find out. A gritty 5-1, boys. Great work.
NEXT GAME
Sunday 28 May
29ERS
@
Richmond Cleaners
Noon, Big Rec
That. Is. Right.
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